The person is part of a system
We apply systems thinking to interpersonal interactions. Each person is a part of a larger system. Everything about them is influenced by many factors:
When a person is angry and upset there are many things influencing them to act the way they do in that moment.
Likewise there are many factors influencing you and the way you respond to them.
Understanding the complexity when two people meet
When two systems “collide” in a stressful or confrontational situation, it is easy for both parties to misunderstand each other or take the conflict personally. They see only one cause for the conflict, that is, the other person. They then ‘blame’ each other and nothing gets resolved. They miss the fact that each person is a complex system influenced by many things and that each moment has many ‘causes’.
TUF enables participants to understand the nature of individual and situational systems and the power they exert on people. When you take a systems perspective you are in a better position to make more empowered choices that enable you and the other person to stay in relationship and resolve differences.