Conflict
Staying calm under fire
Do these three things for yourself when confronted by an angry person and there’s one thing that’ll help them calm down in just about every situation.
Personal Development
Five things to motivate yourself
Here’s a story and my insights from the ongoing work I do in Bangladesh. Seven years ago, I set up a training academy in Bangladesh with a Bangladeshi colleague. I’ve visited that country more than a dozen times and organized over 30 visits by other New Zealand-based trainers. We have worked Read more…
Listening
Why is it so hard to show empathy?
Julie complained that while she was good at being positive and showing empathy with difficult customers, she found it more challenging to do the same with her co-worker Susan who really got on her nerves. She had seen the following definition of empathy and while believing it to be true, Read more…
Conflict
TUF de-escalation skills for staff health and safety
“We are getting more and more irate customers. Our staff don’t know how to deal with them.” Here at Thriving Under Fire we are getting more enquiries like this than ever before. For the past 20 years we have specialized in de-escalation training and managing emotions at work. Our pandemic Read more…
Conflict
What hostage negotiators can teach you about getting on with others.
FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss can teach us an enormous amount about getting on with others. His book Never Split the Difference comes from years of dealing with the most challenging hostage situations around the world. He says a hostage negotiator can’t afford to split the difference. Picture a hostage Read more…
Conflict
Can workplace anger be productive
As a kid, I got mixed messages about anger. My parents were frequently angry. When they were angry, they would hit me or one of my eight siblings. It’s understandable they were mightily frustrated. Anger and aggression were very closely linked for me. I learned in church that anger was Read more…
Listening
What I learned from drug addicts about feelings
During lockdown I spoke with Dan Kuschell, whose popular Growth to Freedom podcast has thousands of listeners around the world. These useful tips on understanding emotions can reduce stress and improve your life. Here are some topics we touched on: What drug addicts taught me that I never learned as Read more…