FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss can teach us an enormous amount about getting on with others. His book Never Split the Difference comes from years of dealing with the most challenging hostage situations around the world. He says a hostage Read more…
As a kid, I got mixed messages about anger. My parents were frequently angry. When they were angry, they would hit me or one of my eight siblings. It’s understandable they were mightily frustrated. Anger and aggression were very closely Read more…
During lockdown I spoke with Dan Kuschell, whose popular Growth to Freedom podcast has thousands of listeners around the world. These useful tips on understanding emotions can reduce stress and improve your life. Here are some topics we touched on: Read more…
Anxiety and depression are the most common forms of mental distress that people experience in New Zealand. Help is close at hand for you or someone you know who might be struggling with these conditions. It’s free, confidential and you Read more…
In 2009 a friend of mine, 18-year-old Eva Maria published a book titled “You Shut Up!” hoping to improve communication between adults and teens. “Adults need to shut up and listen to what young people are saying”, she said. Ten Read more…
In a conversation with Nicole Jansen, host of the Leaders of Transformation podcast, we discuss the question of how many feelings there are. She had heard there were around 4,000 feelings. I would say there could be four billion feelings, Read more…
In the video “It’s not about the nail” a woman sits on the couch with her partner and complains of terrible headaches that simply won’t go away. She has no idea what’s causing them. The camera pans out to reveal Read more…
Imagine a stadium full of people shouting as loud as possible for a minute or two before the first whistle had even been blown. That was the scene at a recent rugby test match in New Zealand between the All Read more…
What triggers a person to get upset? This is a question I was recently asked by a podcast host from the United States. My short answer at the time was “it doesn’t matter what the triggers are. What you need Read more…
This is the second installment about Maggie, a team leader in a government department who has been struggling with negative thoughts and the impact this has been having on her work, her life and her interactions with others. You can Read more…