Conflict
Staying calm under fire
Do these three things for yourself when confronted by an angry person and there’s one thing that’ll help them calm down in just about every situation.
Personal Development
Five things to motivate yourself
Here’s a story and my insights from the ongoing work I do in Bangladesh. Seven years ago, I set up a training academy in Bangladesh with a Bangladeshi colleague. I’ve visited that country more than a dozen times and organized over Read more…
Conflict
TUF de-escalation skills for staff health and safety
“We are getting more and more irate customers. Our staff don’t know how to deal with them.” Here at Thriving Under Fire we are getting more enquiries like this than ever before. For the past 20 years we have specialized Read more…
Listening
Why is it so hard to show empathy?
Julie complained that while she was good at being positive and showing empathy with difficult customers, she found it more challenging to do the same with her co-worker Susan who really got on her nerves. She had seen the following Read more…
Conflict
What hostage negotiators can teach you about getting on with others.
FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss can teach us an enormous amount about getting on with others. His book Never Split the Difference comes from years of dealing with the most challenging hostage situations around the world. He says a hostage Read more…
Conflict
Can workplace anger be productive
As a kid, I got mixed messages about anger. My parents were frequently angry. When they were angry, they would hit me or one of my eight siblings. It’s understandable they were mightily frustrated. Anger and aggression were very closely Read more…
Listening
What I learned from drug addicts about feelings
During lockdown I spoke with Dan Kuschell, whose popular Growth to Freedom podcast has thousands of listeners around the world. These useful tips on understanding emotions can reduce stress and improve your life. Here are some topics we touched on: Read more…
Personal Development
Can you really get help for anxiety and depression?
Anxiety and depression are the most common forms of mental distress that people experience in New Zealand. Help is close at hand for you or someone you know who might be struggling with these conditions. It’s free, confidential and you Read more…
Conflict
Why should I just shut up?
In 2009 a friend of mine, 18-year-old Eva Maria published a book titled “You Shut Up!” hoping to improve communication between adults and teens. “Adults need to shut up and listen to what young people are saying”, she said. Ten Read more…
Listening
How many feelings are there?
In a conversation with Nicole Jansen, host of the Leaders of Transformation podcast, we discuss the question of how many feelings there are. She had heard there were around 4,000 feelings. I would say there could be four billion feelings, Read more…