FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss can teach us an enormous amount about getting on with others. His book Never Split the Difference comes from years of dealing with the most challenging hostage situations around the world. He says a hostage negotiator can’t afford to split the difference. Picture a hostage Read more…
As a kid, I got mixed messages about anger. My parents were frequently angry. When they were angry, they would hit me or one of my eight siblings. It’s understandable they were mightily frustrated. Anger and aggression were very closely linked for me. I learned in church that anger was Read more…
In 2009 a friend of mine, 18-year-old Eva Maria published a book titled “You Shut Up!” hoping to improve communication between adults and teens. “Adults need to shut up and listen to what young people are saying”, she said. Ten years later the generation gap between millennials, Gen Xers and Read more…
What triggers a person to get upset? This is a question I was recently asked by a podcast host from the United States. My short answer at the time was “it doesn’t matter what the triggers are. What you need to do when someone is upset is to acknowledge their Read more…
First posted by John Faisandier on 27th June, 2011 Last week I was given a book to read called “The No Asshole Rule: Building a civilised workplace and surviving one that isn’t” by Robert Sutton. The author, a university professor from Stanford, has used this attention-grabbing title to sell over Read more…
Three actions that help or hinder better relationships.
(more…)
The biggest challenge in dealing with difficult situations is to first of all manage your own emotional reactions to them. It is easy to see the other person as difficult and to blame them for your uncomfortable feelings. Acknowledging and accepting your own feelings to yourself is an important first step to making a positive response to someone who you find challenging.
(more…)
The two key things that make a successful long-term relationship and help in customer service.
(more…)
Health and safety – law and mental stress.
Laws tell us that we must keep workers safe and healthy at work, this includes avoiding mental stress. Managers can be proactive in reducing workplace stress through a well organised workplace, and by training themselves and their teams to communicate well when emotions are raised.
(more…)
On Monday 1st September 2014 an extremely distressed client walked into the Work and Income office in Ashburton, New Zealand, and shot two of the front line workers.
All the staff at that office were working under stress and the client was even more stressed. None of them had the skills to manage his anger over time until he finally cracked and the results were tragic. While the harm done in this situation was clearly visible and extreme, there are many workplaces where the damage from stress is not so
(more…)