We’ve all had moments where emotions take us by surprise.
For me, it happened in my mid-thirties—an ordinary therapy session that became a turning point.
The moment that changed everything
I remember feeling a rush of emotion—so strong it showed up physically.
My therapist paused and asked gently, “What are you feeling right now?”
I froze.
I wasn’t used to acknowledging emotions, not even to myself. The idea of naming them out loud felt terrifying.
I expected judgment, criticism, even rejection.
But instead, I was met with acceptance. My therapist didn’t flinch. They didn’t fix. They simply listened.
That simple act of being seen and accepted became the start of something deeper—a lifelong journey to understand emotions and what they’re trying to tell us.
Why emotions matter more than you think
I used to label emotions as “good” or “bad.”
Anger? Bad. Joy? Good.
But I’ve learned that emotions aren’t right or wrong—they’re messages. Each one offers insight into who we are and what we need.
Even the uncomfortable ones—fear, guilt, sadness—carry valuable information.
They’re signposts pointing to something we care about, something that needs attention.
How we avoid what we feel
When emotions get big, it’s easy to pull away.
We distract ourselves—shopping, drinking, scrolling, binge-watching, blaming others.
It’s easier to numb the discomfort than to face it head-on.
But the truth is: avoiding emotions doesn’t make them disappear. It just buries them deeper.
Learning to lean in
Managing emotions starts with noticing them.
Instead of resisting, try leaning in—acknowledge what’s there.
You don’t have to act on every emotion. You just need to own it.
When you can name what you’re feeling and accept it without judgment, something powerful happens: you gain clarity. You begin to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you about yourself and your situation.
The work of a lifetime
Emotional intelligence isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about making peace with them.
It’s about curiosity, compassion, and self-awareness.
This is the kind of inner work we explore in the TUF Thriving Under Fire program—helping leaders and teams build emotional resilience, improve communication, and strengthen relationships at work.
Because managing emotions starts with you.
And when you do, everything around you changes.
Interested in learning how to manage emotions more effectively at work?
Explore the TUF Thriving Under Fire program and start your journey toward emotional mastery and better workplace relationships.
| P.S. We can offer this training online for those who are unable to attend a workshop. We hold public workshops in Wellington throughout the year or in-house workshops anywhere in New Zealand. Get in touch if you want. Call me on 027 246 0411 to chat about how we can help your situation. contact us directly. |
