Most managers expect complaints to come from obvious troublemakers, not from the people everyone describes as stars. So when someone raises a concern about your top performer, your first reaction might be disbelief. After all, this person gets results. They’re helpful with you. They’re warm, friendly, and maybe even charismatic.
But here’s the hard truth:
Sometimes the most productive, charming, and likable team member is also the most destructive.
And ignoring early complaints is how managers end up blindsided.
Why You Should Take Every Complaint Seriously
When a team member reports concerns about a colleague, your instinct might be to protect the person who has delivered the most value. It’s natural. High performers make your life easier. They help you hit goals. They often appear trustworthy.
But productivity and character are not the same thing.
Workplace history is full of examples where the most trusted employee caused the most harm—financially, culturally, or emotionally. Toxic high performers often thrive because they are masters of perception. They know how to impress upward while concealing the damage they cause sideways or downward.
The Quiet Reality: Charm Can Be a Mask
Highly destructive team members don’t always present as difficult. Often, they’re the opposite:
- Charming
- Cooperative with senior managers
- Warm and positive in one-on-one conversations
- Loyal to a select few
And beneath that? They may be undermining, intimidating, manipulating, or bullying others.
This pattern is so common it has a name:
They “lick up and kick down.”
They impress those above them while mistreating those below.
How to Spot Hidden Toxicity
One early warning sign is strongly divided opinions about the same person.
If some team members passionately defend the individual while others are deeply upset or anxious around them, this is a red flag. Healthy leaders don’t create polarizing reactions. Toxic ones often do.
The longer these behaviors go unchallenged, the more confident and harmful they become.
Averill’s Story
Averill (not her real name) shared her experience with someone who began as a well-liked superstar. Early on, another team member accused him of bullying—but because he was a standout performer, the complaint was largely dismissed.
Later, he turned on Averill.
She went to HR. She went to her manager. No one listened. They were all charmed by his competence and persona. Eventually, the environment deteriorated so badly that she resigned—hurt, disillusioned, and completely unsupported.
Her story is not unusual.
Organizations often protect high performers until the damage becomes impossible to ignore.
The Lesson for Leaders
When complaints arise—even about your best person—pause and investigate. Set aside assumptions. Look for patterns, divisions, inconsistencies, and emotional responses inside the team.
Because sometimes the person who seems the nicest, most capable, and most loyal… is the one quietly harming your culture the most.
If you’ve seen this dynamic in your workplace, I’d love to hear how you navigated it.
Book a Free Game Plan Call today to learn how to handle feedback and conflict with calm confidence.
| P.S. We can offer this training online for those who are unable to attend a workshop. We hold public workshops in Wellington throughout the year or in-house workshops anywhere in New Zealand. Get in touch if you want. Call me on 027 246 0411 to chat about how we can help your situation. contact us directly. |
