Regularly updated to help you thrive


A vital emotional intelligence skill, at work and at home. Being present.


Tips and skills to help you thrive in a leadership position.


De-escalation and dispute resolution. Thriving not shrinking.


Relating well to internal and external customers. How to engage.


Why should I just shut up?

In 2009 a friend of mine, 18-year-old Eva Maria published a book titled “You Shut Up!” hoping to improve communication between adults and teens. “Adults need to shut up and listen to what young people are saying”, she said. Ten years later the generation gap between millennials, Gen Xers and

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How many feelings are there?

In a conversation with Nicole Jansen, host of the Leaders of Transformation podcast, we discuss the question of how many feelings there are. She had heard there were around 4,000 feelings. I would say there could be four billion feelings, and more. You can say there’s an unlimited number of

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Why effective listening is so difficult

In the video “It’s not about the nail” a woman sits on the couch with her partner and complains of terrible headaches that simply won’t go away. She has no idea what’s causing them. The camera pans out to reveal a large nail in her forehead. It’s a shocking picture

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Anger at work can be productive

Why is it so hard to talk about feelings?

Imagine a stadium full of people shouting as loud as possible for a minute or two before the first whistle had even been blown. That was the scene at a recent rugby test match in New Zealand between the All Blacks and Tonga. The purpose was to encourage people to

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What triggers a person to get upset?

What triggers a person to get upset? This is a question I was recently asked by a podcast host from the United States. My short answer at the time was “it doesn’t matter what the triggers are. What you need to do when someone is upset is to acknowledge their

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Six ways to identify unhelpful thoughts

This is the second installment  about Maggie, a team leader in a government department who has been struggling with negative thoughts and the impact this has been having on her work, her life and her interactions with others. You can read the first part of her story here. Maggie the

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